Monday, November 24, 2008

PRESENTING: FOOTBALL NIGHT IN AMERICA: THE DINNER SERIES

NFL WEEK 12: A WHITE CASTLE THANKSGIVING

I've been reading, hearing and dreaming about a Thanksgiving turkey stuffed with White Castle sliders. This Sunday, that dream became a reality...

Step One: Procure a turkey and 15 to 30 White Castle sliders, along with the ingredients to make whatever other festive holiday sides you're in the mood for. Be warned: the most difficult part of this recipe will be not eating all of the White Castles before they make it into the bird. Luckily our bird would only hold 12 burgers so the 30 piece "Crave Case" we bought held up to the initial snacking period before the bird stuffing commenced.
Just holding the Crave Case is guaranteed to bring a smile to your face...

Step Two: Prep the bird and the stuffing. Lauren scrubbed our 12 pound turkey with coarse salt, a tip forced on her by a woman in-line behind us at the grocery store on 125th street last Thanksgiving. In a trend that would continue throughout the day, I took on the easier task: quartering the sliders to make the stuffing. Although using just White Castle would probably have tasted pretty good, we bolstered the stuffing with the traditional ingredients of chopped celery, onion, an egg and chicken stock. I also tossed in a couple of diced habañero's (couldn't resist)
Managed to eat another 3 burgers during this phase of production...

Step Three: Buttering and stuffing the bird. Before we shoved our burger-slurry into the cavity, we took measures to prevent the dreaded turkey dry-out that's plagued Thanksgiving for centuries. We roasted 3 heads of garlic with a little red-pepper and mashed it mashed into a stick of butter; This bowl full of fresh garlic-butter was then massaged into the bird both under it's skin and inside it's cavity. Now comes the fun part - We were able to compress 12 chopped sliders into the turkey. Then we garnished it with an additional 2 burgers peeking out the cavity and another two tucked under the bird's wings just for looks. We also tucked 3 or 4 thick slices of slab bacon under the skin, just to keep with the theme of excess.
The fully prepped raw bird, greased, stuffed and ready to rock...

The Side Dishes: A non-traditional turkey deserves some non-traditional side dishes and plenty of them. Ben took his mainstay mashed potatoes to the next level by concocting what we could only describe as "seven-layer twice-baked potato casserole". This side was a meal in-itself; Garlic-onion mashed potatoes layered like lasagna between pork, cheddar, bacon, jalapeño's and too many mouth-watering indulgences to recall. This was then baked and finished with sour cream and fresh chives.
Layering in the cheddar...

Lauren's twist on dressing involved the most neglected form of cheese: orange flavor-dust. Her Cheeto-chirizo, stuffing left out the predictable stale bread crunch and went for Chester the Cheetah's favorite cheesy crunch: Cheetos! She also spiced it up a bit by replacing the traditional sausage with chirizo and of course snuck some habeñeros in there...
In the words of Chester: "It ain't easy being cheesy"

Appetizers: As if we didn't have enough food, Lauren made a modified version of the empanadas from week 9. She crafted 2 batches: The first contained seasoned beef, peppers, onions and raisins with a melty Gouda surprise in the center, The second consisted of chirizo with jalapeños and monterrey jack.
Lauren's "Pilgrim's Pockets"...

The Thanksgiving Feast: Our bird emerges from the oven as the guests begin to arrive. Jamison and Andrew have been slaving away on not one but too desserts: Andrew's mother's tried and true apple crumb pie and a traditional pumpkin pie. Both pies featured a labor intensive homemade crust. The apple crumb pie kept with the brand-name food trend by using an unexpectedly delicious topping of crumbled Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Unlike the Cheetos and White Castle junk-food elements the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was subtle and effective; If you weren't looking for it you never would've realized you were eating a children's breakfast cereal.
Andrew and Jamison's apple crumb pie...

Phil arrived home from work (on a Sunday?!) just in time to carve up the turkey, while Ben sliced up his monumentally thick potato casserole and I put the final whisks on the turkey gravy. Keeping with the holiday tradition, moments after the last plate had been cleared, more than one of us were snoring away on the couch - the tell-tale sign of a perfect Thanksgiving Feast.
The finished product...

Buffet-style service...

5 points for plating and yes, that purple disk is the classic "jellied" cranberry suace...

The Titan's finally lost, and the Lions... well they'll have another chance to get off the snide on the real Thanksgiving...

Monday, November 17, 2008

PRESENTING: FOOTBALL NIGHT IN AMERICA: THE DINNER SERIES

NFL WEEK 11: TOP-ROPE TAG-TEAM LAMB-RAGU LASAGNA

In the spirit of the fast-approaching holidays, The whole family collaborated on a laborious lasagna, made completely from scratch. Step one started during the college football schedule, Michigan tanked against Northwestern while 6 pounds of lamb shoulder caught a quick brown before stewing in a bottle of montepulciano d'abruzzo for 10+ hours. Saturday afternoon I loaded the meat along with 3 chopped onions, 5 diced tomatoes, 2 heads of garlic, and a handful of jalapeños into the slow cooker for 6 to 8, 10, 12 + hours... the resulting ultra-tender meat slurry would define the base of this monumental lasagna.
early in the game, the cuts of meat are still defined and the Wolverines still lead...
Like Michigan's lead, the meat begins to breakdown and separate from the bone....

Ben spearheaded the homemade pasta, which consisted of a dozen egg yokes and plenty of semolina flour. It was obvious he'd been itching to use his new rolling pin; After rolling out 18 sheets of lasagna, his hands and forearms are now strong enough to pierce steel. We somehow resisted the urge to eat all 18 sheets of pasta raw, but did scarf down most of the sizable pile of leftover scraps (anyone who follows this blog already knows that food-borne illness is generally one of our lesser concerns)
Smokin Hot's first ever video post!! YEAH!!

Lauren handled boiling up all the pasta, before layering it in with my lamb ragu and 4 pounds of cheeses: mozzarella, ricotta and parmesan. The finished lasagna weighed over 12 pounds and neccessitated a fork lift to load into the oven.
Boiling the pasta, did someone take a bite out of that one??

While the dish baked in the oven for 2 hours, we tossed the pigskin on the artifical turf under the lights on Pier 46. This served as the perfect way to work up an NFL-sized hunger for the evening's "Football Night in America dinner". As the Baking concluded, I prepared 2 loaves of garlic bread. I thought roasting 1 head of garlic per half loaf would be sufficient (if not overkill), but in the end I think I should've used even more.
why does this garlic bread slicing photo look so theatric??

The finished dish was a thing of beauty, flawed only by the occasional chunk of lamb bone (sorry about that one guys). The homemade pasta element gave it a masculine thickness comparable to 5 pizzas layered together and baked for 2 hours.
In the end the best part was the fact that the three of us all came together in a perfect collaboration (heart-warming, I know), each of us utilizing our own personal expertise: Me - Slow cooked meats, Ben - Rolling pin skillz, Lauren - Lasagna layering technique...
click to check out the high-res on this one, mmm...

and of course the addition of Dante Culpepper couldn't get the Lions a win...


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

PRESENTING: FOOTBALL NIGHT IN AMERICA - DINNER SERIES

NFL WEEK 10: LEMON OIL; CHICKEN BROIL

This Week Jamison got his first start at quarterback. Cooking on the road, he stepped into the saddle calling a play from his mother's recipe-book; which proved to be anything but a lemon. Two whole chickens split down the center broil in the juice of soo many lemons mixed with garlic, herbs and a touch of extra virgin.
4 halves, raw-dawg:

The resulting lemon oil mixes with my favorite food group: Drippin's, to produce a sauce that begs to be sopped up (bring yer biscuits). The high heat of the broiler gives you that desirable crispiness on the outside and the high volume of liquids underneath prevent the undesirable dry-out, keeping the meat moist and tender. The quarter-bird looks positively sexy with all it's bones in, plated in shallow bowl of lemony goodness.
pour it on!

Staying on the lemon theme I chef'd up a double batch of hummus with 3 whole heads of roasted garlic and extra-extra mint to keep us busy till kick-off

field of dreams...

and sadly the lions remained winless....

Monday, November 3, 2008

PRESENTING: FOOTBALL NIGHT IN AMERICA: DINNER SERIES

NFL WEEK 9: TEQUILA LIME PORK FIESTA

I sent out the above evite a week in advance; Everything was set to make a slow-cooked masterpiece. Then disaster struck - I was forced to go into work ( still pissed about that ) cutting my anticipated 8 to 10 hour slow and low cook'n window down to a tough and chewy 6. With the play clock winding down, I was forced to call an audible at the line of scrimmage. So I microwaved both of the two 6 lb. pork shoulders for a quick 10 minutes on 80% power to get the meat warm before commencing the slow roast'n (thanks for the tip, you saved dinner dad).

the recipe is simple:
•Take as much pork as your pot will hold - loins, butts, shoulders or otherwise. Then slow cook in: half a fifth of tequila, the juice of 5 limes and whatever amount of diced hot peppers you feel comfortable adding ( err on the side of too many though, 'cause the spice is muted while they cook down to tiny slivers)
•Put it all in the slow roasting pot and cook on low until the bones fall out & the meat cooks to shreds ( 6 – 9 hours)
1st course

We snacked on 2 homemade salsas and guac, while the meat took it's time and Lauren threwdown some serious Mexican inspired appetizers:
#1 - empanadas stuffed with chirizo, potatoes, peppers and cheese

#2 - deep fried cheese and jalapeño quesadillas
( we dubbed these the "stuffed doritos" )


cook'in away, the bone still in...


By the time we finished all these appetizers and the leftover tequila, we were all basically too stuffed for the pork. But once you took 1 look and 1 whiff- you knew, like a cow down-shifting to it's 3rd stomach, you were eating more...

finished producto...


with all the fixins...


chorizo prep, phil was pretty proud of this photo, click it for the greasy details...


...and the lions are still on the snide...

PRESENTING: FOOTBALL NIGHT IN AMERICA: THE DINNER SERIES

NFL WEEK 8 : DUELING ROAST BEASTS

For the second week straight Ben's oven housed not one but two takes on the same beast or bird. Taka was challenged to to make a "roast beef" and the resulting 6 pound chuck roast and 5 pound top round, did not disappoint. Once the strings were off the the chuck, it's soft and fatty red center would've satisfied even a vegetarian... maybe? Speaking of vegetarians, the sides for the day:


1. The cutest little baby potatoes with Taka's take on beef gravy : you could've sculpte
d with this stuff and that's not a bad thing

2. Grilled asparagus with Ben's take on an overindulgent rosemary butter sauce: I wasn't using a heart-rate monitor, but I could feel mine slow down after 2 bites from a sauce-soaked slice of brioche


The Titans remained undefeated and the Lions winless...

Brown first...

& Braise later...


& you best watch out for that butter sauce, boy...